The Thirsty Dead (1974)
Somebody get these dead a drink!
Alternate opening "joke."
SO ARE THEY THIRSTY OR DEAD? WHICH IS IT FELLAS?
This Pure Terror set has really demotivated me. Disc 1 had some really fun movies on it, but from then on its been discs and discs of horrible movies.
The Thirsty Dead starts off strong with a title that makes you think you will be in for some great Italian zombie ripoff movie. I even liked the title screen. Then you get some go-go dancing and you are certain you are going to be in for a great 70 minutes or whatever.
BUT WAIT. This movie actually just sucks. Women are getting kidnapped and brought to a magical island with some cult of people in futuristic clothes. Turns out it's a cult of vampires or something because they need the blood of women to stay young and alive.
UGHHHH this movie is horrible. I've watching it two or three times but I lose interest and end up doing research on wikipedia on different types of potatoes or detailed production history notes on Family Ties. It has single-handedly stopped me from posting on my beloved blog for, like, five years or something.
Well, I am not gonna let this movie control my life! I am taking the reins of my own destiny sled and driving that sled on through the snow and the rain of these horrible movies.
There. That should be long enough so that the text all wraps around that poster. Next movie!